Why am I up writing a blog at midnight when I need to be up in the morning for a workshop followed by a womens retreat? Well, here’s why…
I felt like total crap earlier this evening. After yoga, meditating, deep breathing and crying, I finally started to feel a bit better. I hold no shame in crying by the way. We seem to have this idea that crying is bad or should be for behind closed doors. The truth is: tears are simply energy shifting. When we cry we release, we heal, we grow, we honour our wounds so that they can flourish into something greater.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” – Rumi
The past few months have held some heartfelt trauma in my life. However – if you viewed my life from the outside, you’d think I’m ‘happy go lucky’ and leading a normal, wonderful life. My life is truly wonderful, but social media doesn’t show the pain of crisis, or the struggles encountered in everyday life. I’m a big believer in being positive and letting our situations better us instead of bitter us, but quite frankly F that happy go lucky shit if it means neglecting your own self-care. There’s this idea that we have to be happy all the time or just keep pushing on. And that’s what I did. The problem is when we do this, we bury the things that need our love, patience and attention. After all, as C.G. Jung wisely said “what you resist, persists”. And it doesn’t just persist – the more you ignore it, or try to mask the pain or the trauma with fleeting happiness, the harder it comes back to bite you right in the ass. If you’re going through something – allow it, and take time for yourself, take time to cry, take time to do what makes you feel loved and nourished. Be gentle with yourself. Self-love and self-care create your best self, and when you are at your best, everyone wins.
One of the biggest struggles we can find ourselves in is the struggle of being where we are now, and that death defying question of how do we get from here to where we want to be. I understand this struggle all too well, and how hard it is to bridge this gap. The thing is – the more we focus on where we aren’t, the more frustrated we become which only draws us farther away from where we desire to be and the energy we want to bring forth.
I read in one of Gabby Bernsteins books to judge our success based on how much fun we’re having. It might be the easiest way to boost your success rate instantly, as we all have the power to have more fun day in and day out. Comparison becomes too easy in todays day and age – we only see everyones highlights, and other peoples successes and stories have factors that we’re unaware of. Only compare if it empowers you, motivates you, and draws you closer to your desires. If comparing yourself to others makes you feel bad about where you’re at, forget it. Focus on fun instead. And make every baby step from here to where you want to be as much FUN as possible.
And just saying – taking a break from social media is actually extremely refreshing and exhilarating. It helps you to focus on the real world around you, not just the cyber world we zone into.
It’s okay if you feel sad, discouraged, anxious, depressed, fearful, angry. By feeling, YOU ARE BEING HUMAN. Feelings are a natural part of life and when we repress them, we don’t feel better, we just delay feeling good and being in tune with ourselves. I get yes – temporarily it may feel better to ignore feelings. And moments of happiness can trick you into thinking everything’s okay. But you know what?
It’s okay to not feel okay, you will not feel this way forever.
You may actually find that by allowing your emotions to just be, by honouring them, sitting with them, meditating on them, breathing into them – you allow the change to take place. The change that has been calling to you through the constant nags or twinges of hurt or anxiety. Whether you are hurting or stressed or frazzled or brokenhearted, whatever you are feeling, remember, it’s only temporary. You are loved, and you are worthy of all of the best things this life has to offer. I wish you all loving healing and the courage to say ‘I’m not okay,’ because it’s okay to not be okay.