Today is a super exciting day as my partner and I are embarking on a seven week adventure! To begin this journey we drove to Fernie before flying from Calgary in a few days time. We will then head to England, Spain, Switzerland, France, Germany and Wales to visit my family and to explore some new cultures – wahoooooo!

With everything packed up, it occurred to me how much we were leaving behind and it got me thinking – if we were taking all we needed for seven weeks, did we really need all of the things being stored in our home? I’m talking about the ten pairs of pants left in my drawers and all the sweaters left hanging up, and the fact that our house still felt actively lived in as though nothing was missing. Excess things and clutter have become a norm in todays day and age. So often we are surrounded by ads or ideas that we ‘need’ certain items or that all these ‘things’ will make us feel better; sometimes to the extreme promoting that we aren’t good enough unless we look or dress a certain way. However, for me the feeling good and the freedom comes from minimalism and decluttering. The less things I have to worry about the more free my mind feels, and the more I really value and appreciate all that I have. Also, when your home is only filled with items that you truly love, it shifts the whole energy of the environment you’re living in.

This being said – I challenge you to do a little inventory.

What in your life is no longer serving you?

What are you holding onto that could really be let go? (physically & emotionally!)

What can you let go of to free up more room for joy and clarity and freedom?

Keep what you love and what brings you joy. Holding onto things out of guilt or obligation only keeps you stuck in that energy. By clearing out clutter from your external environment you invite more peace, freedom and balance into your inner environment and you may even notice new opportunities coming into your life.

Back to our day – we dropped our beloved doggy off (sad moment), and hit the road. My partner is lucky enough to work remotely, so our drive consisted of good conversation while he drove, followed by me driving and listening to abundance clearing meditations as he worked. I always find road trips to be a good time for contemplation, and healing, and I love listening to podcasts or energy clearing sessions that boost my mood. Snow started falling as we arrived in Fernie; a stunning mountain town. Coming into our hotel we were welcomed with inspiring nature photos, making us feel right at home.

Hunger set in and we decided to venture into ‘downtown’ Fernie to go for dinner. Eventually we found a restaurant off the beaten track and decided to go in. We had no idea what we were walking into… As we first walked in it was quite interesting, a hippy vibe, and some people playing board games. A very laid back yet quirky atmosphere. A little unsure at first about our surroundings, we rolled with it and ordered some tea and food. It was a good lesson for us to trust exactly where we are. Little did we know there was live music and a group of adorable young girls sang some songs including ‘thank you for the music’ by Abba. Their teacher was really great with them and had an amazing voice. I mention this because;

a) it can be very easy to get caught up in ‘where we should be’ and comparing ourselves to others, both in the short term and the big picture. By allowing and trusting in where you are, you never know what miracle is yet to unfold. We sure didn’t expect to be serenaded by a bunch of cute kids and I didn’t expect to feel so much love and heart opening watching the magic in them and the joy on their parents faces.

No matter where you are, no matter where you feel you ‘should’ be, when you can let go of the attachment to the ‘shoulds’, you allow for greater possibility and opportunity to flow in. Ride the wave, trust God or the universe or whatever you prefer to call it, and believe that there’s always room for greater things to unfold.

and

b) so often we think things about others that we don’t say out loud. I’m not talking about judgments here, I’m talking about when we think of how pretty someone is, or how beautiful their singing voice is, or how much we love their energy or they brighten our day. You never know how much someone needs to hear some positive words to cheer them up! I always make an effort to try to compliment people. Not only does it bring them joy, it also brings me joy from seeing them light up! I went up and told the singing instructor how beautiful her voice was and we had a great conversation. Complimenting others is always a chance for connection.

I’m now off to hot tub and to get a good night sleep but I leave you with this:

Have faith in where you are, be open to the fact that new opportunities are always on the horizon. If you believe good things can happen, they will. Never forget to spread love and kindness wherever you go as it will fill you in the process. Compliment that person you admire, thank the people giving their time to serve you, smile at the stranger on the street, be the light and the love that this world needs more of. And remember, you are exactly where you need to be. You are never truly stuck, only planted so that you can bloom.

 

Two years ago I was not in a good spot. Two years ago I was in the midst of transition and turmoil. Two years ago I came to my favourite magical town to visit some wonderful family friends and get in the Christmas spirit. Two years ago on the way home from this magical visit, I met Ben, and that’s where the magic truly began.

Deep in my gut was this feeling and the words “stay another day”. I’ve never felt something so powerful and clear. I was supposed to return home on Monday for work, but my shift was conveniently cancelled. The people I was staying with said “hey, you don’t have to leave today, feel free to take another day and leave tomorrow.” And so I listened to my gut and I enjoyed another wonderful day in my favourite town (not knowing the next day everything would change).

I got to the greyhound station with tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to leave the love of my family friends or the magic of the town. I didn’t want to return to the chaos and confusion that had become my life. I knew big decisions and changes were about to be made, but they were about to be made much easier. As I walked into the greyhound station, I noticed a handsome man sitting in the corner of the room listening to music. He caught my eye probably without even noticing. Coincidentally, he worked with the lady I was staying with and we were briefly introduced. We spent the next two hours glancing back at each other and awkwardly turning away when the other one caught sight of it.

The bus stopped. And my heart did too as Ben approached me. We chatted briefly and I said he could sit beside me if he likes. With energy and enthusiasm, he grabbed his stuff and bounce landed in the seat next to me. We spent the rest of the bus ride chatting and laughing, it was as if we’d known each other for years.

I was smitten. Everything I dreamed of having in a man was right in front of me; kind, humorous, loves the outdoors, educated, great relationship with his family. The list went on and on and on. He sold me with “my favourite thing is exploring a new place or standing at the top of a mountain”. I didn’t believe it when people would say “when you know, you know” until I met Ben. It was as if I was being shown that it was possible for me to have a man who would treat me right, a man who was genuine and real and truly himself.

I wish I could say it was all happily ever after from there. There were a few hiccups along the way. We both went through transitionary periods including travel and moving, but our interest for each other didn’t go anywhere. My friends probably thought I was nuts when I would say things like “I have a feeling we’ll be together one day. I know it’s not the end of us.” But sure enough, two years later here we are. Living happily, healthily, and heartfully in my favourite magical town.

It’s crazy to think had I not followed my intuition, I may not be aware of my self-worth. I may not have had the opportunity to grow in the same way without Ben being brutally honest with me to produce necessary positive change. I’m thankful everyday for his presence in my life. I’m thankful for the beautiful, synchronistic journey that got us to where we are today, and I’m thankful for the love and laughter we share together on a daily basis. Some messages or gut feelings may seem silly, and may not make total sense at the time, but I’m living proof that when you follow your intuition, truly beautiful and profound things can happen.

Two years ago I met the love of my life. Two years ago I allowed my shell to crack open, and I allowed my self-worth to blossom and grow. Two years ago I realized I am (and we are all) worthy of a healthy, harmonious relationship. So here’s to Ben; the man I love waking up to everyday. Thank you for coming into my life and influencing me more than I ever dreamed was possible. My heart is so full of love and gratitude for you.

anyaben

 

 

Why am I up writing a blog at midnight when I need to be up in the morning for a workshop followed by a womens retreat? Well, here’s why…

I felt like total crap earlier this evening. After yoga, meditating, deep breathing and crying, I finally started to feel a bit better. I hold no shame in crying by the way. We seem to have this idea that crying is bad or should be for behind closed doors. The truth is: tears are simply energy shifting. When we cry we release, we heal, we grow, we honour our wounds so that they can flourish into something greater.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” – Rumi

The past few months have held some heartfelt trauma in my life. However – if you viewed my life from the outside, you’d think I’m ‘happy go lucky’ and leading a normal, wonderful life. My life is truly wonderful, but social media doesn’t show the pain of crisis, or the struggles encountered in everyday life. I’m a big believer in being positive and letting our situations better us instead of bitter us, but quite frankly F that happy go lucky shit if it means neglecting your own self-care.  There’s this idea that we have to be happy all the time or just keep pushing on. And that’s what I did. The problem is when we do this, we bury the things that need our love, patience and attention. After all, as C.G. Jung wisely said “what you resist, persists”. And it doesn’t just persist – the more you ignore it, or try to mask the pain or the trauma with fleeting happiness, the harder it comes back to bite you right in the ass. If you’re going through something – allow it, and take time for yourself, take time to cry, take time to do what makes you feel loved and nourished. Be gentle with yourself. Self-love and self-care create your best self, and when you are at your best, everyone wins.

One of the biggest struggles we can find ourselves in is the struggle of being where we are now, and that death defying question of how do we get from here to where we want to be. I understand this struggle all too well, and how hard it is to bridge this gap. The thing is – the more we focus on where we aren’t, the more frustrated we become which only draws us farther away from where we desire to be and the energy we want to bring forth.

I read in one of Gabby Bernsteins books to judge our success based on how much fun we’re having. It might be the easiest way to boost your success rate instantly, as we all have the power to have more fun day in and day out. Comparison becomes too easy in todays day and age – we only see everyones highlights, and other peoples successes and stories have factors that we’re unaware of. Only compare if it empowers you, motivates you, and draws you closer to your desires. If comparing yourself to others makes you feel bad about where you’re at, forget it. Focus on fun instead. And make every baby step from here to where you want to be as much FUN as possible.

And just saying – taking a break from social media is actually extremely refreshing and exhilarating. It helps you to focus on the real world around you, not just the cyber world we zone into.

 It’s okay if you feel sad, discouraged, anxious, depressed, fearful, angry. By feeling, YOU ARE BEING HUMAN. Feelings are a natural part of life and when we repress them, we don’t feel better, we just delay feeling good and being in tune with ourselves. I get yes – temporarily it may feel better to ignore feelings. And moments of happiness can trick you into thinking everything’s okay. But you know what?

It’s okay to not feel okay, you will not feel this way forever. 

You may actually find that by allowing your emotions to just be, by honouring them, sitting with them, meditating on them, breathing into them – you allow the change to take place. The change that has been calling to you through the constant nags or twinges of hurt or anxiety. Whether you are hurting or stressed or frazzled or brokenhearted, whatever you are feeling, remember, it’s only temporary. You are loved, and you are worthy of all of the best things this life has to offer. I wish you all loving healing and the courage to say ‘I’m not okay,’ because it’s okay to not be okay.